I meant to

I meant to be a good person, truly. I’m not even certain where it all went wrong. I supposes saying, I meant to be good makes it sound as though I am bad. As if life could be simplified down to the basics like good and bad. All I know is that I’m not good I used to think I could be. I prided myself on being the diligent one. The trust worthy, hard working, would do anything for anyone, strong, honest, could push through anything person. But that person does not exist. I’m not sure she ever did. Who I am now, is who I may have always been. A lying, thief, who manipulates people to get what she wants, lacking any moral obligations. I truly meant to be good, but life just handed me a different set of cards.